What Do You Want To Do?

When I was little, figuring out what I wanted to do was so easy. At first, I wanted to be a dentist, until my dad mentioned that I'd have my hands in people's mouths all day (My reaction?Eeeewwww! I was about 5 at the time.) Then I wanted to be a country music singer, and belted out some pretty good tunes in the living room, at the dining room table, in the bathtub, in the backyard..... But when I first figured out that I could get a pencil and fill up a notebook with stories--real stories like they had in books--that is all I really wanted to do. 

Then came the roadblocks. I was painfully shy (and often still am) and just getting up the nerve to let anyone even read my stories was tough. But our school did have a newspaper for a semester or two (we were tiiiny), and I can't even remember what I wrote, but I do remember the thrill of seeing my name in print, officially. In college, I was sure that I wanted to write novels and poetry and draw too, but before he died, my dad really drummed into me that I needed to really do something practical. I remember sitting in the hospital room with him before his final round of chemo, and us talking about my future. I wanted to write; and he was supportive of my choice (being so shy, I seldom offered any) but gently told me to think about money too.

For a while, it was easy not to think about the money and just get lost in the dreams. I was a journalism major as a backup, but I knew that after college I was going to go to New York and be a writer. So naive! Until my sister started asking where I would live and how I would support myself and how I'd even eat, moving to New York with no job and just a few hundred dollars in the bank.

So I came home. I feel like my career so far really has been serendipitious...I got my start working in magazines, then got an interest in PR and now marketing. But I started thinking too much about the money and not enough about what I really love. So now I'm full circle again, dreaming dreams that I haven't thought about in a while.

Will I make the right choice? I don't know...heaven knows I've made plenty of bad ones already. But one thing I've always said and always believed in is that certain things aren't worth it unless they make you happy. Even if they ensure you're in a certain tax bracket and can take vacations to places you've always wanted to go. Day-to-day happiness, that's what I'm wishing for. We'll see what happens next. 

What I Believe

This time of year, many people are talking about the election. There's a lot of passion for both sides, as well as a lot of anger and just plain spitefulness. People want to know who you're voting for, and so many times, it seems as though if you don't agree with someone's particular side, you become evil, or just stupid. 

Our ninth grade teacher gave us a test once that was supposed to tell you whether you were conservative or liberal based on your answers to 10 or so issues. I was the only person in the class who fell squarely in the middle, and on neither side (or perhaps all sides).

I don't enjoy talking about politics because I don't like opening up the anger that sometimes comes when someone finds out you're not voting in the same crowd as they are. And I know I'm probably not the most well-informed person out there. I certainly don't read as much news as I should or necessarily keep up with who's serving in what office. But for all those who are curious, this is what I believe.

I believe in giving people the power to make their own choices. That includes health care. I've worked at a hospital--I know how awful it can be when someone doesn't have health insurance and how screwed up our current insurance system is. But stories from countries that have a national health care plan scare me. I don't want to have to wait months for an appointment or not be able to choose the doctor I want to see. 

My own family will probably not like hearing this, but I do believe in having abortion available as an option. Don't misunderstand--morally, I do not agree with abortion, but if I were raped or if my life were in danger, I can't say that my husband and I would not want to be able to make that choice. Even knowing that we would be doing something wrong. 

I believe in any policies that support families. I believe that many things wrong with our society today can be linked directly to the fact that even in the nicest homes on the block, children don't have parents who parent, love and support them. I think schools would be safer, crime rates would be reduced, fewer families would be on welfare, teen pregnancies would drop--and I don't know what else. I'm not making a blanket, rose-colored glasses statement that everything would be fine and dandy, but I think the world as whole would be a better place if families were more involved with one another and really striving to raise a next generation to be even better than the one before.

I believe in doing everything we can to help the environment. That means supporting local farmers, tax rebates for buying fuel-efficient cars and building "green" homes, encouraging recycling, and so much more. There's so much waste and just one little planet to live on. I believe in reducing our dependence on foreign oil--and domestic oil too. I'd rather we look into alternative fuels that are kinder to the environment.

At heart, I am a pacifist. I hate fighting at any level. I don't even like getting into an argument around the dinner table. But I have to believe that as a country we have to stand up for ourselves. I'm not saying we don't try to talk things over. But you also have to understand that you can't reason with people who would happily kill themselves in order to harm you. I would never want to see someone I loved have to go out and fight and potentially die for my country. But I believe there is a greater good that is worth fighting for.

I believe in taking responsibility. It's not the government's responsibility, not the school's responsibility, not the bank's responsibility. Ultimately, we all have to try to be as educated as we can to make the best decisions for ourselves and our families. So let's save and invest our own money as wisely as we can, let's teach our kids kindness and compassion, and let's live as honorably as we can. 

I don't believe any one person can solve all of our country's problems. I believe we're all human and we all make mistakes. I think, I hope, we're all just doing the best we can. And I'm voting for the person whom I think will do his best and who, I hope, will do the right things, at least the way I see them. I hope we all will vote that way.